Conversations I’ve recently had with my daughter while driving

T: (Fake crying) Momma, my teeth hurt.
Me: Your teeth hurt?
T: No. My arm hurts.
Me: What? Why’s your arm hurt?
T: No, Mom. My leg hurts.
Me: Oh (real dramatically), your LEG hurts?
T: NO, Mom! (Even more dramatically) My other leg hurts.


T: MOMMA! TAKE IT! TAKE IT! TAKE IT! MOMMA!
Me: (Focusing on traffic and not looking back at her) Take WHAT? What’s going on? What’s happening?
T: Take it. TAKE! IT!
Me: (Reaching my arm back towards her carseat and having her wipe something on my hand.)
T: Take my booger, Momma.


T: Dora snack? Dora snack, Mom? DORA! SNACK!
Me: Sorry, kiddo. We’re about five minutes from home and then we’re eating dinner.
T: (Screaming and kicking)
Me: Not gonna happen, peanut. I’m putting my foot down.
T: I need a babysitter tonight, Mom.
Me: (Nodding, Yes)