Life is always interesting when living with a two year old. The energy, the curiousness, the defiance, the tantrums, the sweet squishiness and the ever expanding vocabulary. A few weeks ago Taylor began favoring the word, Something. As in, I need something in my mouth, and the synonymous, I need something in my hand. And while I always get a kick of the new words and phrases that pop out of those fantastically chubby cheeks, this is one word that is slowly driving me insane.
So. Let me tell you a little SOMETHING about it. The very first time she skipped into the kitchen and chirped, Mom. I need something in my mouth, I laughed. And then asked her exactly what she wanted in her mouth, waited for her to answer and then fulfilled it. Snack-time accomplished. I think I even told Chris about the encounter and we both shook our heads and chuckled at our sassy toddler and how she was tactfully applying new words in order to scam extra gummies off of us. She’s a crafty one, my girl.
And as her new phrase for, I’m hungry, continued for the next few days, it became less and less cute. Especially when I refused to give her what she wanted. Like more gummies. I mean, COME ON!, how many gummies can one little person eat? She has a dentist appointment coming up this month and I’m pretty sure our dentist is going to look into her mouth and say, Um. It seems this child’s molars have transformed into squishy sugar candies shaped like princess shoes. Are you also putting Mountain Dew in her sippy cups?
And because our dentists are actually our friends, I am trying to prevent any uncomfortable sugar-mouth discussions and limiting Miss T’s daily gummie intake to one a day. And when she comes in and asks for that second gummie serving, aka SOMETHING in her mouth, and I say No, her initial reaction is generally convulsing her entire being and then collapsing to her knees while doing that fake, really-loud-and-just-for-effects cry. To which I have matured enough as a mother to just watch the whole scene with a straight face, or I step around her and go yoga-breath in another room. Did you catch that, Taylor? I’m on to you and your not-really-hurting cry. It may work on your Dad and all of your grandparents, but I’m around you 24/7 and can differentiate your fake-cries versus your real-cries about as quick as I can distinguish Cool Whip from whipped cream. Try me.
So now that we’ve established that I’m starting to figure out how to be a mother and I’ve finished gloating that I outsmarted my two and half year old, let’s get back to the point of this post. So because I started continually responding to Taylor’s, I need something in my mouth, with, Alright, but NOT a gummie snack, and because I do offer plenty of perfectly healthy snack options in my house, the real mind-numbing battle of the wills started:
Me: How about a string cheese?
T: No, something else.
Me: How about some fruit?
T: No, something else.
Me: How about some popcorn?
T: No, something else.
Me: How about a few crackers?
T: No, something else.
Me: Well, Taylor, that’s all we’ve got. You decide.
T: NO. SOMETHING ELSE!
Me: WHAT then? NOT gummies.
T: Mom. I need something in my hand.
Me: Okay. WHAT do you want in your hand? NOT gummies.
T: Something.
Me: (Trying NOT to lose it,) Just tell me what you want.
T: I need something in my hand.
Me: (Handing her a string cheese,) Here.
T: (Starting to twitch and squeal,) NO! I need something else.
Me: (Walking away,) Well, I NEED a million dollars and a kid that doesn’t say the word, Something. Enjoy your string cheese.
Parenthood, folks. It’s not for the spineless or easily frazzled. Especially during these strong willed toddler years. Because, yes, while it’s mostly squishy cheeks and sunshine, there are plenty of days where it’s nerve-ending melt downs and whining. And of course it would be easier to just give into the tantrums, throw them the whole box of gummie snacks and be able to enjoy the silence of a happy child. But I’m not going to do that. Because I don’t want to be a lazy mother, and also because constantly giving in would just breed brattiness. Not to mention outrageous dentist bills.
5 comments:
Oh, I feel your pain. Currently, my girls need every darn stupid toy they see on tv. And I have so used the "well, I need a million dollars... how 'bout them apples?!"... oh, the joys!
Life is always about 'something' isn't it?! Love that you were strong and gave her the cheese string vs. gummies. My dentist already told me to save for braces for Treyton as we are still sucking his finger!!
I wish that they didn't think that money grows on trees. Maddie always tells me to charge it cause I use my debit card at the store. I try and explain there has to be money to "charge" it and she just gives my the look. Oh the joys of parenting! Agree with you on the fact that parenting isn't for the spineless! Cheers!
I love this post about something. I think that is so funny that she says that! (sorry, mom)
I love this post!!
HAHAHA! Ah, little, miss T. Goodness. You're going to give your Mama a run for her money. They do get really ticked off when you catch on to their little games. And sometimes, instead of going into the other room to do the yoga-breath....I just laugh and think, "I will miss conversations like this.", or, my favorite (used most frequently if I say that they can have *sweet thing* after lunch/supper), "But MOM! That's going to take forever." Yep, the world is a rough place. Too bad fruit snacks don't grow on trees. Bummer.
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