Ribbit ribbit

Earlier this week, in the flurry of one of our morning-breakfast breakdowns, Taylor stopped, grabbed her diaper and yelped, Pee-pee in my diaper. And, sure enough, there she was with a wet diaper, marking the first time ever my little monster had made any sort of reference to doing her business. Yes, we like to call it Business in our house. And Pee-pee and Poo-poo. And this is where all of my childless readers will probably click-out off this page and return to something a little more sexy, like UsWeekly online or some sort of fashion-blog. I understand – I was in your strappy, seven-inch platform shoes once. But now I wear Chacos on a daily basis and talk about my kid going to the bathroom. So, there ya go.

So I changed her diaper, continued on with our morning routine and went to the gym. And while I was retrieving her at Child Watch, one of the girls cornered me and told me that she had performed the whole Stop-Diaper grab-Pee-pee routine with them again, and that they had taken her into the bathroom and put her on the toilet and tried to see if she would go. Which she didn’t. And I was honestly a little bit happy about the fact that she backed-out, because as a mother you want to be there for ALL of your child’s firsts. Even the first pee-pee in the potty. And when they asked where we were with T in the potty training process, I threw them my best game-face and fibbed that we had been working on it. And then we got into the car and drove directly to the store and bought this:

And while purchasing the froggy-potty, I made sure to make the biggest deal ever about it, squealing such things as, Oooh! Look at Taylor’s new potty! Are you excited to do your business on the potty? Mommy wishes she could do her business on a froggy-potty.

So we got home and tried out the new potty. And NOTHING. And while she was super excited to sit on the frog and grab at it’s eyes and say, Pee-pee on the POTTY!, that’s about all we got done on day one of the froggy-potty. And throughout my research and discussions with other moms, a few things that resonate from those conversations are Don’t force it! Let it be a natural process. She’ll let you know when she’s ready. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to have a few small prizes and treats around to reward her with for when she actually completes the task at hand.

And after a day and a half of a completely business-free potty, I took a trip to the store and came home with two packages of the most bedazzled, spectacular Dora the Explorer stickers I had ever seen. And they were so wonderful, that Taylor took one look at them and her head almost popped off in anticipation of decorating all of our furniture and bodies with such treasures. But I made sure to make extra clear that she only got a sticker if she went pee-pee in her potty. And then we spent the next hour in the bathroom. And, still, NOTHING.

So on the third day of owning the frog, I woke my little peanut up extra early with tidings of potties and stickers, stripped her naked and sat her down to do her morning business. And after sitting on the bathroom floor with her for ten minutes, practically tasting the coffee that waited for me downstairs in the kitchen, I grew impatient and asked her point-blank, Do you need to go pee-pee? And she quipped back, Nah. So I stood her up, started to stand up myself and she started peeing. All over my leg. And in that brief moment, instead of going, EWWWE!, I snatched her up and put her back on the potty. And she proceeded to christen the froggy-potty. And Chris and I started cheering and whooping and dancing and celebrating so loudly that we scared the jeepers out of our little girl. And she started crying.

And I wish this story had a happier ending, but that episode provided a major setback in this whole process. The next morning, in hoping for a repeat performance, my little peanut literally pushed me out of the bathroom and proceeded to pee all over the rug. So, in summary, right now I have a business-free froggy-potty parked in my bathroom and have had to wash an extra load of clothes/rugs/towels everyday since the process started. And this is another example of why parenthood is not for the faint of heart. Or for those that wear exotic pajama pants and own pricey bathroom rugs.