In which I get put on antibiotics and Taylor gets a unicorn

So Monday afternoon I started to feel a bit rundown, which isn’t all that uncommon after coming off a busy Father’s Day weekend and considering the fact that I have been sleeping in three to five hour intervals for the past two months. And then I noticed that my chest was super tender, but chalked it up to getting a Taylor-elbow or running into something. Because I’m a total klutz, and my legs and arms are constantly flailing into objects, resulting in random bruises and scrapes. I’ve never been graceful, and throw in exhaustion and the fact that I’m constantly stepping over and around Taylor and Ruby while holding Luke, I’m bound to always have a few battle-wounds on me.

But then nighttime arrived, and I went from feeling rundown to completely whooped, and I started shaking with the worst body chills I’ve ever had. And my chest went from feeling uncomfortable to having red streaks running across it and being so painful I would scream if any pressure was put on it. And when I looked at Chris and said, I don’t feel very good, he got out the thermometer and took my temperature, which registered at 101-degrees. I was sick and miserable.

And when I finally got out of bed Tuesday morning I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I was so weak I could barely walk up and down the stairs, and my body ached like I had been hit to here and back with a sledgehammer. When I called my doctor’s office and let them know what was going on, they got me right in for an appointment and diagnosed me with Mastitis, which is a bacterial infection prone to mothers who are breastfeeding. And after prescribing me a super-duper antibiotic and telling me to alternate pain meds every three hours, I was sent home to heal and lay on the couch for the rest of the day.

And because Taylor had been cooped up in the house for two days, she had enough pent-up energy to run to the coast and back. Meaning her and I were on completely opposite wavelengths. So Chris came home early and was put directly in charge of exhausting the Princess. And because it was stormy and gross outside, I suggested he take her to the mall. And if you know my husband, you know his deep hatred for shopping. Despises it. Did I ever tell you the story about how he threw a tantrum while we were registering for our wedding? Right there in the middle of Bed Bath & Beyond, Chris spiked a bundle of washcloths to the ground and stormed out of the store because he couldn’t shop one second longer. So sending him and Taylor, the girl who LOVES to shop, to the mall to get out of the house for a few hours was a bit risky. But I didn’t care. I needed to sleep.

And when they got home, Taylor burst through the front door and squealed, MOM! MOM! MOM! and bounded up the stairs into my room to show me what she had suckered her Dad into buying her. A Unicorn Happy Napper, something she had seen many commercials for while watching cartoons and would always jump up and down and scream, I WANT ONE! I NEED A HAPPY NAPPER! And now she had one. And she was beyond thrilled. And Chris was beaming too. And I was all, Huh? I thought you HATED shopping. And he said that when they walked into the As Seen on TV store and she threw her body on top of the unicorn, all he wanted to do was to buy it for her. And the high that was accompanied with getting his precious girl a new treasure was enough to erase the pain of shopping. And I’m sure her squealing and bouncing around him in delight while clinging to her new napping buddy was enough to make the price worth it as well. He even said to me, Brooke, I would have paid $500 for it if I had to. Wrapped. Around. Her. Finger. And once I’m completely healed, I’m totally gonna take him to JCrew and try the Taylor-method of shopping, throwing myself on top of a few sundresses and pair of jeweled flip flops with pure joy and enthusiasm. Let’s see if it works.