I am the fastest woman alive. Kinda.

After finally checking the Asheville Half Marathon off my bucket list last month, I was feeling pretty good about my running skills. So when Chris suggested I run in a road race that his rotary club was involved with, I jumped all over it. I hadn’t competed in a 5k since January, and I was eager to see how fast I could cover the 3.1 miles.

So last weekend we woke up early and headed downtown for the Parsec Prize, which started right in front of the Parsec Financial office on Wall Street, and then winded itself through Montford and back into downtown. It was a fast course, with only a few short hills and nothing too exhausting. Not to mention only about 60 runners were competing, so I was able to snake my way to the front of the starting line and didn’t have to step around people after they blew the horn.

And once I took off, I REALLY took off. Translate:  I was moving it. And as I propelled my legs faster and faster, I was aware that I was on the front-end of the pack, but I had no idea who was behind me or how close they were. And I really didn’t know how fast I was moving until I reached the end of the first mile and I wasn’t through my second song on my playlist yet. Oh yeah. That meant I was sprinting at a tremendous seven-minute mile pace. Which, for me, is basically lightening speed.

I kept it up for the next mile, relying heavily on my long-distance endurance training and my awesome music. It was one of the best playlists I’ve ever made. Seriously, if you ever need to run as fast as you can, whether it be for a race or away from danger, blare B.O.B. by OutKast into your head. No one will ever catch you.

I sprinted into the final mile, knowing some freakish runners had probably already crossed the finish line, but also aware that I was going fast and no one had passed me since the start line. And while I had run past a number of dudes, I hadn’t even seen another female runner since breaking away during the first mile. So when I turned the final corner to head into downtown and heard someone yell, YOU’RE THE FIRST GIRL! a huge smile broke out on my face.

So you better believe I had to put on a good show, and sucked it up and ran as fast as my legs would allow the final blocks of the race. And when I got to the end, the look on Chris’s face when he saw me before crossing the finish line at 23.35 was of total amazement. Yep. I AM AWESOME!

First place, Baby! I got a gold medal, two tickets to a UNCA men’s basketball game and a $25 gift card to Ruth’s Chris. Oh, and total bragging rights. How many races have you won?

Not bad for the awkward teenage girl who fumbled her way through high school sports, eh? In your face, Darrel Ehlers.