Future bionic dog

Chris took Ruby for a consultation with Dr Crouch yesterday, and before the appointment we received some info on him that I thought could work to our advantage. Other than being well known for his mad dog-healing skills, this doctor received his veterinary degree from Iowa State. So I thought it would be a good plan that as soon as Chris walked into the guy’s office he should start spouting off about how Iowa is the best state in the world. Period. And then see if it would be possible for us loyal Iowans to pay him for this procedure via barter-style with golf lessons and homemade guacamole. And if he said No, I wanted Chris to punch him in the stomach and say, Typical Cyclone. Hawkeyes rule!

Well, big surprise, Chris didn’t take my advice. Cyclone or not, he was super impressed with Dr Crouch. He’s apparently the Michael Phelps of canine orthopedic surgeons, and has done 1400 of these ACL procedures. And of that number, only nine haven’t taken. And of those nine, six were chocolate labs. Because chocolate labs are what they call High Energy dogs. Oh really? We hadn’t noticed. We thought all dogs did hot-laps around the living room when they heard the word Walk.

The big challenge with this whole drama is going to be the healing process. From what I understand, in two weeks Dr Crouch is going to put a metal hinge in Ruby’s knee, and for six weeks - SIX WEEKS! - after the surgery she is not allowed to do any sort of activity. No climbing on the furniture. No running up the stairs. Nothing. And after she makes it through six weeks of immobility, then only leash-walks for an additional six weeks. I can’t even explain to you how hard this is going to be, and I’m pretty sure the only way we’ll make it through the next three months is with a crate and lots of doggie tranquilizers.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the cost of this whole thing is like a running kick in the shin. But there isn’t an alternative. If we don’t do it, she’ll be an official tripod-dog in less than a year. And she’s only five years old, and we LOVE her. Oh, and far as the Iowa loyalty discount goes, it’s not going to happen because he’s not even from the great corn state. He’s from Illinois. Which means he’s both a Cyclone AND a Bear’s fan. Typical.